
Recovering from a serious illness gave me fresh reflections on many things.

Time flies. In the blink of an eye, it's already week 50 of 2025. With only two weeks left until the New Year, this is a moment that feels especially suitable for reviewing and thinking.

The last time I wrote a weekly update was week 38 this year.

Time really moves fast—12 weeks passed in a flash. When I realized that if I didn't write something, more time would just slip away, it hit me.

So the best time to start is now.

Then let's write something.

## What have I been doing?

Roughly these things:

1. Being a **degenerate gambler**, literally;
2. Building a brand-new HomeLab home network system!!! **This is what I'm most proud of!**
3. Passing probation (becoming a regular employee);
4. Getting stronger in AI Infra.

Actually, you can probably tell from what I wrote below: for a while I was basically heading down the wrong path, and I didn't manage my physical condition well. And yes—I just went through a serious illness. Flu again 😷.

### ~~Being stuck in game theory for a long time~~ — turns out I went to be a degenerate gambler

Something I've always been a bit embarrassed to admit is that I got into Texas Hold'em as a form of gambling. Hahaha—speaking of it, I really should summarize it.

As of today, it's almost been one year since I first touched Hold'em. Over the year, I probably lost about the price of a latest-model ThinkPad. Looking back, I think about how much better it would have been if I had used that time and money for something with broader impact.

On a weekend before Christmas last year, a colleague at my previous company introduced me to it. The exchange rate was 1:20, and the blinds were roughly 0.25/0.5 RMB—simple at the beginning. I got obsessed with calculating the odds of every hand. After all, I like numbers and probabilities.

Then when I was in Nanjing, I kept organizing games, hahaha—kept learning. Now that I think about it, it feels awful.

So much time wasted.

At my core, I love trying new things and socializing, and Hold'em satisfied those needs to a large extent. At first I treated it like a tabletop game. With friends from my board-game group, I moved from board-game tables to poker tables—especially the guys who love Euro-style board games. Pretty much all of them got dragged in by me. Hahahaha.

Let me list a few key moments.

#### My subconscious got caught by gambling addiction

This is why gambling harms people. During Spring Festival, I got really itchy to play, so I went on platforms like Xiaohongshu and looked for private games. At that point I realized the stakes were already much bigger—going from 1:20 to 1:10.

Every time I went I would lose a few hundred RMB, yet the next time I still wanted to go. Looking back, it's honestly ridiculous. I was already in the early stage of addiction. I even lied to my partner—"I'm going to play Hold'em tonight"...

Whenever I think about it now, it's terrifying. I always considered myself rational and disciplined, but I didn't realize how deeply my subconscious had already been controlled by gambling.

#### Gambling addiction intensified within a month of changing jobs

That month went by fast. I got many offers and had lots of choices.

So that month, I played with my best friend from my previous company (LOL—honestly, I think I became close with this interesting colleague because of Hold'em).

This is where my second excuse came out: "I'm doing it for socializing." Hahahaha—what a convenient excuse. In reality, I was chasing that thrilling, intoxicating feeling.

Within that month, I played night after night with this friend and another senior frontend engineer, until 2 or 3 a.m. It was seriously addictive. Wins and losses both happened. And yeah, we did build a deep friendship through it, hahaha. Bad friends :)

#### The first three months after joining the new company

I have to say: I did join in partly to integrate faster into the company's social circles, and I learned a lot of gossip, hahaha.

I met some insanely strong players—great at reading people, strong at calculation, and strong at psychological games. It really opened my eyes. But I didn't completely fold either.

#### Trying to find players in my spare time

A disaster. Seriously, don't casually join games run by random uncles and aunties in Shanghai. They usually have real skills, and they don't lack money. The first time I played it was 10:1.

That night, I refused to accept reality and then went to a 1:1 game. I kept losing.

At that point, I wasn't doing it for socializing anymore. It was pure gambling addiction.

Scary. I even set a flag back then—stay away from gambling. Looking at it now, it was all bullshit. I still didn't learn.

#### The last three months after joining

Probably to vent stress, I organized games with colleagues at the company and former colleagues. I lost a bit there (again proving I'm not good at this, or maybe this game just isn't what I truly love).

I met some friends from top universities. Their calculation ability is indeed strong—they can basically avoid losing money. A friend from ZJU math is really interesting. But by then I already knew clearly it was beyond my actual skill range.

#### Summary

From now on, playing a tiny 1:20 game for a bit of fun is fine. But if it goes higher, stop immediately. This game does involve skill, but when luck is bad, skill doesn't matter. What matters is mindset. If your mindset isn't ready and you still sit down, your bankroll will blow up. Then your mindset will blow up even more.

So this is **gambling behavior, no doubt about it.**

Don't play games beyond your ability. If necessary, reject all games. If it's not necessary, just go play board games with friends—don't play Hold'em, hahahaha. In fact, board games are way more fun than Hold'em.

### Building a brand-new HomeLab home network system

This is genuinely interesting.

I spent some money on enterprise-grade networking equipment.

I bought some really interesting devices from Unifi. My cat loves these devices the most, hahahaha.

### Passing probation

Yep, I became a regular employee at the new company, doing what I love most. I hope to become one of the most professional people in the field.

Recently I absorbed a lot of thinking related to AI Infra. But I still have too few ideas, which actually shows my thinking is far from enough.

### Getting stronger in AI Infra

Just getting closer to AI Infra.

## Life reflections

Actually, after moving my work to Shanghai, I've been going home more often. Driving home takes about two and a half hours.

There are many two-and-a-half hours in life.

But some two-and-a-half hours are very, very expensive. Time with my mom is very, very expensive.

I hope that for the next period of time, I can spend more time with my family—while still making sure I have fun with tech.

### The value of time

Every day, every hour, every minute is irreversible. Just like Lyubishchev's time-tracking method taught me: awareness of time makes me cherish every moment more.

### The meaning of life

What is the meaning of life? I think it's: within limited time, do what you believe is valuable, spend good time with important people, keep learning and growing, and leave some positive traces in this world.

## Future plans

### Short-term goals (the next two weeks)

- [ ] Complete my year-end work summary
- [ ] Spend warm holiday time with family and friends
- [ ] Finish some long-delayed personal projects

### Mid-term plan (first half of 2026)

- [ ] Deeply learn new tech stacks
  - [ ] Summarize the AI Infra tech stacks I've touched in the past half year at least

- [ ] Hopefully contribute to some interesting open-source projects
- [ ] Build a better work-life balance
- [ ] Cultivate new hobbies
- [ ] Strengthen physical exercise and health management

### Long-term vision (the next 3–5 years)

- [ ] Reach a higher level in my professional domain
- [ ] Build my own technical influence
- [ ] Achieve phased goals toward financial freedom
- [ ] Live a fuller and more meaningful life
- [ ] Contribute more to the community and open-source projects

## This week's focus

### Technical learning

This week I was seriously ill, and I'm just recovering.

So it feels like I didn't learn much, but I did solve a very tricky home network issue. Wait for my article...

### Life log

Continue practicing time tracking, improving awareness of time...

### Thoughts and reflection

Spend some time each day thinking and reflecting, writing down inner thoughts and feelings...

## Gratitude and anticipation

Grateful for all experiences this year, grateful for every person I met, grateful for every opportunity I had.

Looking forward to the new year, new challenges, and a better version of myself.

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*"Time is the fairest thing: everyone gets 24 hours. The key is how we use those 24 hours." — Keep moving forward in the river of time, with a grateful heart and hope for the future.*


As the year draws to an end, looking back, reflecting on life, and planning ahead...